Day 1357: overwhelmed again...

Today, this evening, in particular, I've been feeling a large amount of guilt and I don't know why. Well, I kind of know why, and I know I haven't dealt with the feelings of leaving work yet, and it's been a rather crazy day, I had about 4 hours of meetings, and I'm planning a long meeting tomorrow, and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. 

I was walking through the local supermarket and I was listening to some music, and I came across a track I haven't listened to in over a year and was immediately taken back to an album that I had completely forgotten about and given the time of day. It's totally not for everyone, actually, it's probably only for a few people, but I like it. The track in question that came on was Birds of Sulphur from Gorod's A Perfect Absolution which came out in 2012. It's a technical death metal album and it displays some incredible band proficiency, given that the genre is sort of a fuse of ultra heavy passages, augmented by jazz style rhythms and coordination, it's definitely a very difficult genre to get into, let alone play well. These guys play it very well, and I've just been checking out a newer album of theirs, and it holds up and is exactly what I'd be expecting as a progression in their sounds. 

I think the album stuck out at me today as I don't feel like I really know what I'm doing, and it's some music that is wholly distracting and absorbing. I also am trying my best to not get absorbed into my own thought pattern of trying to think of all the people that have made an impact on me and remember everything I can, everyone, all my friends, my classmates, my teachers, just anyone, it all becomes overwhelming and I know that going down that path only bums me out because I can't keep track of everyone as much as I'd like to. There have been no bridges burned, but they've definitely not been maintained, and I don't know why this even matters at this point in time, but I guess I've spun myself into a chaotic desire to acquire knowledge that is unnecessary. 

It's been a whole evening this journey, but I even fixed my guitar amp, one of the valves was loose, but it's only a matter of time before the valves actually need replacing for real. I then picked up my guitar and tried writing some music, but after I discovered that everything I recorded on my laptop recently had gone missing I re-recorded the new podcast intro and then gave up and tried to chill out. My kitchen is somewhat tidier today though, through a little bit of effort. 

Have an excellent day! You're all my favourites! How are you all doing? Thank you for reading! I've been so self-absorbed recently and I feel terrible about it. 

Peace -x-