Today was another unproductive day. And I know everyone is fed up of reading about my struggles in life. There's nothing I can share that's useful, nothing that I've done that's noteworthy, and nothing that I feel like I can accomplish over the next few days that I'll be able to feel like I've honestly contributed to.
I'm stuck. I feel like everything I write needs referencing to a source, that nothing I've written that I've felt of as being original, that I feel like I developed and put the work into making exist on the page actually has any value to it. I feel as though the way the education system seems to be, from my very warped perspective, finding the people who can make the best use of references, the best use of other peoples work, the people who can remember facts better than others, and those whose work that only hits the notes exactly. Nothing can be perfect, there should be extraneous facts, there should be character to work, the assessment should take into consideration that there is creativity in the world, that while someone might make a point, someone else very likely has made an identical point in the past, that we should use and apply problem solving rituals to challenges presented to us, rather than presenting answers that already exist.
Chemistry and maths are the subjects I will use to present my feelings on this. In each case you can know how to do a certain thing, in chemistry, it's reactions, recognising the type of reaction that will occur, to get to the correct product from certain starting materials. In maths, it's simpler, it's how to carry out a calculation that is presented to you.
Both of these require working to be shown, I'm sure proofs and calculations in physics are the same, there on the page you lay out the work.
However, when I'm writing an assignment, I feel like this doesn't hold true, that when writing the application of knowledge is so thin, that really you're disguising other peoples works as conclusions you've come to without understanding.
The understanding of ideas, I feel, is something that is missing. Certainly in education over here, with the ever increasing grades, (the last 2 years excluded) that students are being failed, not by grades, but by not being taught how to understand the work that is presented to them and how to apply it.
I feel as though this referential culture and these ideas pervade many aspects, which is why the world has ended up the way it is, with Brexit occurring, and the outcry afterwards, along with a myriad of other things being caused by a lack of searching for knowledge and accepting facts that constitute peoples vision of knowledge.
I know I'm a flawed writer, I'm bad at it, I'm not good at writing in any aspect, and that I know I have bias, but I still have not been able to shake the fact that I believe my education has failed me. I made it through life, nearly 28 years, I managed to obtain a degree, but I still feel like so many hours, days, weeks and months were wasted in school being presented things without a conversion to useable knowledge in the real world.
I hope you all have fantastic days! You're all my favourites! Apologies for this journal, but I've been dwelling on this for days.