The last few days I’ve been feeling a little lost in the world.
There are a lot of things going on, specifically regarding my apartment sale, and immigration paperwork, but those are relatively outside of my control. There is also not much going on, I have very little to input at work, it’s not demanding, and I spend a lot of time procrastinating. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, and trying to understand my place in the world. While I know where I’m going to end up in a few months, right now I have no idea how I’m progressing along the path of life.
I’d like to point out here that I’m happy, but just feeling directionless. I’m trying to think of things to do that aren’t games and delving fully into just wanting to play them all the time. I’ve spent a lot of time looking at guitars that I want to try out, and tomorrow I’m going on an adventure with my dad to try one out, plus what ever else tickles my fancy.
It’s both microscopic and macroscopic in it’s scope right now too. Moment to moment I don’t know what I’m really doing, and picking up things on a whim, not seeing things through, and doing whatever gets put on my desk as it turns up. Actually, that’s taking work away from my employees too, as we are a little under-burdened at the current moment in time as the balance of work is a little shifted to be weighted to the first person that turns up.
In the long term however, I don’t know where I fit in, what job I’ll be doing, and what skills I should be investing in obtaining, or working on. I certainly could be making better use of my time. I’ve had a lot of ideas, there are a lot of things I either thought I wanted to learn, or started learning, only to discover that I don’t really have a passion in the topic, or lack the understanding needed to progress. It’s not been disheartening, I needed to see what I can and can’t understand. I also don’t know the job landscape of where I’m going. I like being active and getting things done, and so I’d not be immediately keen to jump into a desk job, but I don’t think I should discredit those types of job as an option.
While I’m on that point, one of co-workers was talking about how her partner was out of work, and they were getting to a difficult spot because he couldn’t find a job. That’s all well and good, but it came to light pretty soon after that they weren’t picking up certain jobs because they believed they were above them. I don’t believe that any job is below anyone, any job can teach you things, and can help improve you, even if it is a significant pay cut.
However, I understand that I’m saying this, and I know there are jobs I would not pick up. I do not believe that I’m above those jobs, more so that I have personal preferences that I feel would conflict with my ability to do the work. I am not comfortable handling food, particularly meat and fish, and as such don’t know anything really about them, therefore I believe I would be a bad server at a restaurant. On the flip side, and of what I can only imagine is at a similar pay grade, mainly because it is here in the UK, warehouse work, as I’ve done it before, is something I know I would be able to step into and likely be able to do well immediately.
I’m feeling lost, but I know I’m going to be alright, things aren’t terrible, there’s a lot to go forward to, but right now there’s not much to do and that’s fed into it.
Have an excellent day! You’re all my favourites!